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Presently Nude

I heard and then felt the rain pour outside through the door that was slightly ajar. The light breeze was a pleasant surprise that gently tickled my face awake from the 15-minute or so trance I hypnotized myself into by staring at a light bulb on the wall.

Last year, it was an amusing thought inspired by a 70-yr old landlady. Last month, it was a nagging idea that became part of a list. Last week, it was a promise. Yesterday, it was a terrifying tomorrow desperate for an excuse to break a promise. Today became right now...

And right now was a moment of clarity... My body is a shell that houses something much more. It may be a piece of art, not because of symmetry (it is not) or the way the light shined on it, or the way the curves and twists became strokes and lines on a piece of paper, but it is still just a shell.

I heard and then felt the rain pour outside through the door that was slightly ajar– and it made me smile because I felt it in my heart--- I felt the rain and the thought that I am much more than just a shell. I am the rain. I am the breeze. I am a spirit no shell can forever hold and house. I am free.

(Posing for a Life Art class was one of the few things I wanted to experience before I turned 30 {I needed a deadline, or else I would have kept postponing it until students would have a really hard time sketching all the folds and creases that would be my 70-yr old skin}. I wrote this shortly after I put my dress on and the instructor handed me a wad of $1 and $5 bills– I had forgotten that "models" got paid with the students' class fee for that session.)

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